I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Randomize
