So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
