Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize