These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Someone signed my nipple.
So apparently I’m into choking now
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
