I feel like abortions should bother me more
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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