just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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