I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize