In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize