I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I just googled if crying burns calories
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
