if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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