apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
