Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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