i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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