please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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