i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
