We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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