She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Randomize
