He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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