There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
