I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
