I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
