whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I cannot find my penis.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
