I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
