There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I could make wine with my vomit
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
