when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
