i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
