Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize
