At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
