We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
