Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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