Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
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