return my video game
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
