Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Im part way to drunk.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
