come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
