we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
