so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
