Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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