New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
