wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
