He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
