I love black thongs
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
His hands were made for my vagina.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
