fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
