It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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