Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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