Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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