let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
