Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
