I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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