Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
She bit a glass in half.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
