dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
