You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
