ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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