Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
