rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
