i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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