and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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