is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize