thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
she peed on how many people?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
