If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
try to milk me bitch
Randomize