Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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