You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
