lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
