I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
