everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Randomize
