U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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